“Families are like fudge, mostly sweet, with a few added nuts.” Those words are clearly borne out by author Allegra Goodman’s sprightly, bouncy novel of manners titled, This Is Not About Us. Goodman’s work contains several sugary characters. However, the nutty ones, folded into the mix make the luscious novel a treat impossible to put down. Outwardly as solid as a tray of fudge, the Rubinstein mishpacha--- descendants of three sisters---try to maintain solidarity while grappling with loss, co-parenting, depression, divorce. And the beginning of an endless “broyges” (feud or discord) when Sylvia brings a scrumptious apple cake to her sister’s shiva.
Jeanie, the youngest Rubinstein sister, is lying on her deathbed. The family gathers at her bedside vying for Jeanie’s attention, begging her to disclose what each could do for her. Without a living will nor prior instructions, Jeanine now makes her funeral wishes heard. Jeanie wants no funeral, no burial, no memorial service. “I want to be scattered” (cremated) she demands. Certainly, never put to rest next to her husband with whom she’s had a contentious marriage! Moreover, Jeanie wants “No Rabbis, I’m an atheist,” she adds. A former music teacher, Jeanie’s one request is to play music at her funeral, preferably Bach. “Cover me with rocks!” she proclaims dispassionately to her family watching her slowly fade away. Jeanie’s surviving two sisters interpret her wishes quite differently.
More emotional, expressive and always forgiving, sister Sylvia sugarcoats all her tsuris. She maintains a close relationship with Debra, (her only son’s ex) who initiated their divorce keeping both the house, the car, the dog and control over the lives of Sylvia’s granddaughters. Sylvia never complains about her vertigo nor her daughter-in-law Melanie who suffers from depression and obesity. Sylvia manages to “paper over everything.” Not sister Helen!
Helen has two unwed daughters one of whom is seeing a non-Jewish married man, a secret kept from her mother because it would be a “deal breaker” for Helen. Traditional and a bit overbearing Helen arranges to have a Rabbi and Kaddish said at her sister’s funeral to reflect her own conventional values. Sylvia bristles at Helen’s disregard of Jeanie’s last wishes. Whatever else can be said about her, Helen is the indisputably, renowned baker in the family. Not everyone loves her saccharine desserts, but Helen generously offers her lemon squares, pecan bars, brownies and her apple cake for every family get-together.
To avoid any competition between the sisters, the multi-generational family agrees to employ a caterer for Jeanie’s shivah. Sylvia, who hasn’t baked in 20 years, brings a drool-worthy apple cake. To add to the outrage, the old recipe was taken from Helen’s recipe book and made far more flavorful than anything Helen has ever baked. After, the shiva Helen never speaks to Sylvia, never answers her messages and never forgives her. Is the broyges really about the apple cake?
Sweetened with intuition, insight, laugh-out-loud humor and flavored with the complexity of human nature, This is Not About Us is a yummylicious literary serving from the inexhaustibly creative and talented Allegra Goodman.